Mike Huckabee
Michael "Super-Size Me" Huckabee is a former Republican presidential candidate, former Governor of Arkansas and former fat slob. When he became a potential GOP Candidate for President of God's Favorite Country, however, he was forced to do something about his extra layers, dropping 110 pounds (or one Kelly Ripa). After a brief period out of the limelight, Huckabee called a press conference. "I have just come out of six weeks at a concentration camp held by the Democrat Party of Arkansas in an undisclosed location, making a hostage tape," Huckabee said. "That's why I look that way." Jews everywhere were delighted that Mike remembered them. "We just love Mike. He really gets us." I heart him. Appearances On The Colbert Report .]] Huckabee first was Stephen's guest on the May 2, 2006 edition of The Colbert Report. Stephen took this man from a town called Hope to a town called Nailed. Stephen couldn't get Huckabee to talk about whether his diet plan included TrimSpa or crystal meth. Additionally, because his life expectancy is now so much greater, it put even more pressure on him to fix Social Security. Huckabee wouldn't declare his candidacy, but invited Stephen to be his running mate, stating that together they could change America. His second nailing occured on April 19, 2007, when he joined Stephen at the C Desk. As he was now a declared candidate for the Presidency, with a whopping 1% of voter support in polls, Huckabee proposed a Huckabee/Colbert '08 ticket, which Americans would find authentic. Regardless of Stephen's decision whether or not to join the Huckabee candidacy, Huckabee received The Colbert Bump merely for appearing on The Report, tripling his support. Third Appearance! Who the hell is he? He threatened to break Dr. Colbert's other arm. Anything to raise awareness. As head of the FCC in a Huckabee administration, Stephen would have only The Report on the airwaves. Mentioned Ron Paul. Made lots of jokes, proving all politicians should leave Washington and go on tour with Carlos Mencia! No one is distracted at all by his lazy eye. January 9, 2008 Nailing Mike Huckabee went "Hucka-Live" via satellite on January 9, 2008 * The Colbert Bump ** third place in New Hampshire will necessitate a resell to Stephen * not harsh enough on Illegal Immigrants ** does not support Border Pneumatic Tube * stay a Hucka''bee'', not a Hucka-''was'' August 27, 2008 Nailing * former Republican candidate for president and now works for FOX News; that's how they stay Fair and Balanced! * Huck turned down Stephen's invitation to speak * he thanked Stephen for The Bump * called Michelle Obama "phenomenal" * thought Hillary Clinton did a good job ** He knew Barack Obama wasn't going to pick Hillary * Said Joe Biden is "vanilla" ** but never said Barack Obama was chocolate * doesn't consider himself a pundit * we should make the Constitution what it really reflects in our values ** it should be changed to better reflect Christianity * euphamism of choice for black: ** new ** untested ** celebrity Book *[http://www.nofactzone.net/?p=1407 NFZ coverage of upcoming book tours for Quit Digging Your Grave with a Knife and Fork] Factoids *Is from the good Hope, Arkansas, not the one Bill Clinton was born and raised in. * Mike has at least one son, David *Supports Jamie Lynn Spears, who got pregnant at 16 and is not having an abortion. *Was the presidential candidate that most represents change. After all, he lost 110 pounds. Let's see Obama do that! *He argues that sick people are destroying America. You tell them, Huckabee! Endorsements Huckabee received an endorsement that some in the internets may find at the very least interesting. Chuck Norris actually came out and endorsed him. How kickass is that? The Club for Growth doesn't seem to like him http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071227/ap_on_el_pr/anti_huckabee_campaign; could be because he reminds them of Jimmy Carter. See Also * Huckbacrite * Mike Samanthabee Huckabee-mentum?? * Explore Huckabee - just in case! External Links * Official Campaign Website * Mike Huckabee Page on Why08 * Social Network for Supporters *Huckabee liberates Jesus *Huckabee faces slander *Mike Huckabee makes a 9/11 tribute video: God Bless, George W. Bush!